Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
