Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
false alarm, still single
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
