I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
