is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
