from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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