She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize