I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
