I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
