Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize