Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
