I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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