im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
