mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
