party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
try to milk me bitch
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
