went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
