i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize