Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
