He is such a slut. More and more my type.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
