you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize