That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
