He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize