ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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