I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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