at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
