Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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