I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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