I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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