what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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