She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
