You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
