Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
