Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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