she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
