I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
