when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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