Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
