sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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