And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
