all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
