went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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