You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
