Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize