I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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