just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
