She's JV to your varsity
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize