Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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