I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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