Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
