okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
