ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
