you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
