I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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