absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
