I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
