You just made me feel so damn special
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
