She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
