it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
