sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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