Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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