Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
