No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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