Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
