I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
