would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
