I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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