Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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