I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize