Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
