i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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