wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
