I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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