Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
