sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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