its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
