rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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